My eyes! The glare from the cabinets is blinding.

If you’re looking to take double–no triple–the amount of time to paint your kitchen cabinets than you should, I’ve got the tips for you! These are the tips other professional painters won’t tell you. Promise. So if want kitchen cabinets that are truly unique, with personal touches like paint bubbles, streaks, and overly thick sections, here’s how to do it:

  1. Determine that you’re going to paint all of your kitchen cabinets in one day. No. Matter. What.
  2. Laugh when your husband says silly things like, “Maybe it’s too cold to paint today.” Or, “You know, you might want to paint inside.”
  3. Lightly sand your cabinets right before you paint them. Don’t bother to wipe them down with a towel or anything.
  4. Paint the front of the cabinets first.
  5. Paint in your garage when the outside temperature is 32 degrees or below.
  6. Keep going even when the paint starts to thicken from the cold.
  7. Add more paint to smooth out the thickening paint.
  8. Figure you already painted half the cabinets you outta finish the job even if the paint is the consistency of peanut butter.
  9. Whatever you do never, ever do a sample test of your paint color before you start! That saves way too much time when you figure out your paint is glaringly bright and shockingly shiny.

With these helpful hints (shhhh, secrets!) you too can have crummy kitchen cabinets like mine. And you can join me in spending a day–no three–stripping the paint off and then starting all over again. Bonus: there’s nothing better than spending your extra money on sand paper!

Scrapping, scrapping, and more scrapping in my future

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